..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
