hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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