He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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