eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
