And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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