So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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