He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
