An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
