I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
