I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
