I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
