So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
