can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
