life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
