My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
