I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
