In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
