So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
