I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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