Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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