Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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