There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This house was built for laser tag.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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