I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
