So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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