Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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