Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
