He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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