Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
