it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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