Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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