If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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