Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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