I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm passing your future prison.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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