Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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