you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
