I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
