don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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