For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
