At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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