he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
