I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
