i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
