A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
