He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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