I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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