if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
