no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
