I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
