we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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