I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have fence marks all over my body
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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