Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you didnt know i had herpes?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
